Thursday, June 19, 2008


I walked out of the language testing center in the basement of the Joseph Fielding Smith Building with my two middle fingers in the air, thinking to myself "this is the last Spanish test I will ever fail again." (I didn't really have my fingers in the air, but I was thinking about it). Anyways the air in the hall smelled different, lighter and more refreshing. I walked out of the basement and as I climbed the stairs I looked at Y mountain and noticed that the sky has never been bluer. There was an extra pop in my step as I climbed the stairs because all the weight of term papers, grades and failing Spanish test had been lifted off my shoulders. I don't know if everyone gets the point, but I, my friends, am a free man. Thats right I rolled off campus for the last time as a student. At that moment all the prayers that were stuck in the celling of the Heber J Grant building a.k.a. the testing center were released and sent on their merry way. You all know those prayer, "I know I didn't study very hard, but I need this class to graduate." Yeah those prayers that everyone is saying but in the end they go down to look at the big tv at the bottom of the steps and next to their secret number is a bold 49.8%. Anyways I don't have to worry about wondering if people standing around the tv know that I'm the one with the low score, because I'm done. I just thought I would let all you guys out there know.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

3 of the baddest (esplisive) in sports

I'm sorry I have been away so long, but I'm back with fury and fire. This post is dedicated to all the bad (add your own explisives, the more you add the badder these guys become). This list defiantly isn't all inclusive or all encompassing, but it is a list of five super bad mama (#%*@) jammas

First on our list is Pete "Charlie Hustler" Rose. This guy was tuff (not tough "tuff". Pretty much this picture of Pete flying head first into third base speaks for itself. Now anyone who is familiar with sports knows that all star games are just a big joke. No one wants to be there, no one wants to get hurt and pretty much no one really plays. This might be true to everyone except for Rose. In the 1970 all-star game Rose. The game was tied in the 12th inning and Pete was standing on second base. After a teammate singled to center the hustler rounded third and barreled towards home. The throw from center beat Rose, but he lowered his shoulder and took out the catch and scoring the winning run. This move was completely taboo and he got all sorts of flack from it, but that is how he played. He never played soft and he never gave up. Rose broke and still holds many MLB records, but one thing that he is best known for is his permanent ban from the game.

Alright no I know people are saying to themselves, wrestling isn't a sport. Well here, in this blog, I make the rules and wrestling was a huge part of my childhood and Hulk was the man, I am deep down in my heart a true yellow and red Hulkamaniac. The Hulk had been in the limelight for the past twenty five years as wrestling most known icon. Now I know that wrestling isn't really a "sport" and sure his body isn't "natural", but you have to be a real man to be able to take the beating three times a week for almost three decades. If you don't think Hulk is one bad dude then here is an assignment for you. Go rummage though the bottom of one of your dresser draws and pick out a nasty old shirt. Then go outside and let out your best manly primal yell and use your strength to rip that shirt down the middle (you may need to cut the collar to get things started). If after doing that you don't feel bad to the bone then you better take up knitting, cooking or some other non-manly trade.

Third on this list is Robert Craig, a.k.a EVEL. Let me just say I there is no other person that I would be more afraid to meet in a dark ally. This is the sort of guy that would snap off your arms just for giving him a sideways look. He muttered "God take care of me. Here I come" right before every jump. I'm confident that he went into every jump with no hopes of living through the experience. It has been said that on one of his jumps the dude broke a record 35 bones in his body and needed some 15 surgeries to paste him back together. He even tried to strap himself to a rocket and jump across the snake river canyon. If anyone of you out there was 1/100 the man evel was then you would be the baddest scariest person I know.

Five baddest (explisives) in sports

Sunday, March 23, 2008


Now there are many different places to go on vacation. I married a girl whose ideal vacation is some remote third world country. She likes the new people, the interesting (a.k.a. crappy) food and extra stamps on the old passport. Some people leave the hustle and bustle of the city to relax all alone on a secluded beach, while others leave their boring small town lives to experience life in the big cities. Those vacations sound all fine and dandy, but my perfect vacation is something a little more off the wall and I went on one of these vacations just this weekend. I did a favor for someone in my ward and as payment he gave me four tickets to the Salt Lake Blaze (the local Arena Football franchise).

I know that not many people out there have had the pleasant opportunity to attend one of these glorious sporting events. I know this because, like I said, I have been and there really aren't that many people making it out to cheer on the Blaze. So, for all of you who haven't been to an ALF game let me paint you a picture of my wonderful experience.

I walked towards the Energy Solutions Arena on Friday night with high expectations. I figured this would be the white trash mother ship. I was not disappointed. Before I even got inside the door the I watched the group of fat, long haired, denim jacket wearing buffoons yell "hey baby why don't you come over here" to the 45 year old fake-baked chicks that were walking just in front of us. Yes! let the vacation begin.

We found our seats in the lower bowl and I began to enjoy the experience. The first thing that impressed me was the number of people that were sporting their Blaze jerseys. I had no idea that there were that many people who gave a crap about the Salt Lake Blaze. People were not just there to watch old, washed up, and semi-talented football players try and live the dream, people actually cared what the outcome of the game was.

Everything was perfect. One group of middle aged guys, and maybe some girls (I couldn't tell for sure), had everything that I was hoping to see. Each one had painted faces, black and orange shirts and a plastic cup overflowing with beer. One man in particular was 400+ pounds and was wearing a boa, a cape, and a top hat with flames. It was awesome, the air was just saturated with an aura of blue collar excitement.

As I left that night, after a not so disappointing 3 point loss, I was overcome with the pungent smell of second hand smoke. It seems that a 2 1/2 hour game is almost too much to ask of a nicotine addicted football fan. I walked away from the ESA and back to my car being thankful for the vacation, it was everything I could have ever wanted. I look back being especially glad that it was only a vacation and not an important and everyday part in my life.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Just one more thing to neglect

Well friends, I have jumped on to one of the lamest most annoying bandwagons out there. I have decided that Suzanna and I need to start up our own blog. Now if you are looking for a gripping blog that leaves you waiting breathless for the next post you will be disappointed. If you are searching for answers or even intelligent responses to political and national issues, you're heading towards a dead end. This blog will only touch on the truly non-vital, insignificant and inconsequential aspects of life.

With that being said, let me give another warning. I am notorious for neglecting things that are important so other things like school and blogs get put way down on a very long and competitive list. But, I do promise [a man is only as good as his promises(draw your own conclusion)] that I will do my darndest to give all of you hungry readers a peak into my life now and again, whether you want it or not.